Me every fucking night.
Frozen Tangled Guardians
I hate how even with medication and therapy my fucking Bi Polar gets to pretty much control my life. I managed to make it 8 months without cutting even with all the stress with senior thesis and everything else that was going on personally these past few weeks. But today I was given the biggest “you are worthless and you don’t matter” by the job that I have that literally yelled at me for having a panic attack. And it sucks so much how this triggers me and even with the fucking medication and the therapy and everything I can go from slightly not ok to truly and completely not ok. I also fucking hate myself so much right now for cutting and for how it made me feel better for even just a moment. And I hate how I have to pretend that I am completely fine because society reminds me constantly with it’s stigma that I am just a worthless person who can’t control her emotions and what I am feeling doesn’t matter at all. Even though typing just this was so hard let alone actually getting out of my bed, fuck you bi polar, fuck you and fuck you society for helping me continue to hate myself.